With love, Abhishek Mishra

I am sitting in my long balcony here in IIM Ranchi, a place probably two months back I had no idea I would be at! And now, all of this is growing on me. It's been more than a month since everything began at a pace difficult to capture for me in the sense that I was living a very slow life. Life was slow, whenever I chose to fasten it up, I would but otherwise things were very slow, on my wish. Its hard to adjust to this now, having lived a life that wasn't much demanded, here I feel like there's no rest and that the life is so demanding out here that its hard for me to keep up. Working every time without much time to relax isn't a kind of life I was used to. Now, I knew life will change that things can't be the same forever, I was on a cushion built by my father but what's more daunting is something else.

I have always been so proud of my personality, of being a winner and really turning situations to my will. I remember even as a kid, I had a lot of fight and there are so many time I fought to surprise myself but right now, I feel like I don't have fight anymore, there's no time for me to actually stop and pick up the fight. its all so fast paced that its really tough to feel things properly and react in a heartfelt way. And then this health issue took me to the lowest I have seen at this place, I am a fan of intensity, like that of Virat Kohli, like that of Ranveer but recently I have started feeling that I am a very light person, I don't feel like respecting myself anymore because I am daily succumbing to the environment I am pressed into. Ok, I thought I am passionate about business but economics and accounting will still take a toll on me, my academic zeal died somewhere in Maharaja Agrasen I guess. I like to stand up and speak but I don't feel like doing it anymore, no more singing, no more dazzling the world with my talents. No more impressing anyone, I just feel like going back to home and spending time with myself whom I feel I have lost to this world who is trying to make me someone I am not. Well, actually it isn't this harsh, it's okay and things here are good, worth doing, worth spending time with, its a story in making man. Story's aren't always very musical in the beginning, the journey wasn't supposed to be fun, every journey is fun well but for that, you have to really wait! I have to really wait now... for this to pass and new color to take me over.

I need to relook for that some one I lost while shutting my startup or while sitting back at home preparing for CAT, I need to look for that fighter who knew how to trust himself. I need to look for the self assured guy who can take everything and anything whatever comes his way. Who loves to live and make life interesting and who kills it almost every time he can!